A Writer?

 
It is early on a cold Saturday morning.  I really thought I’d still be sleeping at this hour, but my body decided that it was done.  So instead of trying to convince myself that I could sleep more, I thought I’d take advantage of a rare moment of quiet to begin writing.  This beginning is a much bigger step for me than just a blog, because I grew up believeing that I’d write some day.  As a kid, if you had asked me what I’d do when I grew up, my first memory of that response was an investigative reporter.  I wanted to travel to different places, mostly rural, simple places, and tell stories of peoples’ lives, of the history of buildings or places, painting a verbal picture of the significance of the seemingly insigificant.  I didn’t do that.  I haven’t written anything – I don’t even journal, even though I have a drawer full of empty journals.If you know me at all, you’ve probably heard me say that during high school I had a guidance counselor tell me that I was as “…creative as a stump.”  I was in the process of taking a test to see if I qualified for the Gifted and Talented Program in my school, and this particular part of the test was a creativity test.  Not only did he deem that I failed, but he used my paper as the example of what NOT to do.  Needless to say, that took some creative wind out of my sails.  To this day, I still struggle to believe that I have something original to say that is of value.  

Instead of writing, I began editing for other peoples’ written work.  It is so much easier to edit what someone else has creatively written instead of producing something yourself, when you understand that you’re not creative. 

 Equally compelling, however, were the words of those who knew me.  Over the years of my life, I have had dear friends quietly tell me (and sometimes loudly tell me) that I am creative, and that they believe that I have written contributions to make.  They have consciously fought against the words spoken over me as a youth, time and time again encouraging me to think differently about my creative abilities. 
 
 As the new year rolls around, I am choosing to act upon this belief and see where this blogging takes me.  I do it with the same apprehension that a person would have if they stood on a stage and sang publically for the first time.  I do it with the same caution that a dieter would have if they try to diet one more time after a lifetime of failures.  It is a risk for me – but finally, because of a series of moments of clarity along this journey, I am willing to take that risk.
  
 So welcome to my thoughts and musings!  You are invited to join me as I journey honestly, openly and as bravely as I can.  I hope that, along the way, we all learn something together!
 
 
 
 

 

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4 Comments

Filed under Family and faith, General thoughts

4 responses to “A Writer?

  1. Ami

    Ah, the words spoken from Evil meant to destroy the destinies born in our hearts . How many curses like this one have been spoken over people and remained effective? It’s stories like this one, Lori ~ it exemplifying that man’s scales of talent are not based on the will of Providence ~ that will break the curses off of people’s lives.

  2. How exciting to be able to step into this journey with you. There’s something soothing about the raw honesty of your words. My story is both similar and different in that I was always complimented on my writing and told that I would be a writer someday. . . but at the same time I was told not to speak, at least not in public forums. I had a speech impediment. I mixed up my Ch’s with my Sh’s. Ok and cute for a pre-schooler, but not so for a third grader! The words, “you talk like a baby” echoed through out my soul during my elementary years. Now, as you well know, I travel throughout the world not writing but speaking! “In my weakness He’s proved Himself strong.”
    There is something healing about your words, and we carry similar scars. So I look forward to further identification – let the journey begin!

  3. Jeff Kubarych

    I am so happy that you will be writing and sharing your thoughts with the world, Lori. You are VERY creative and talented, just like each of your family members. I received similar “feedback” from educators back in the morning of my life, but now that I have moved into the afternoon of my life, I align myself with messages that are for something (lift up), not against (tear down). Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

  4. I’m convinced that all High School counselors from small towns are evil. They probably had their hopes dashed and therefore make it a goal to squash any creativity in those who come to them. My counselor told me I was too smart for art. Now look at me! 🙂 Can’t wait to see how you surprise yourself (and few others–they KNOW you have it in you!) with how amazing you are! The best is when you start to see it in yourself and take it to God and then He totally messes you up with love because he’s so happy for you. Write away, beautiful Lori! I’m cheering for you!

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